Waiting.

I HATE waiting. Waiting may be one of the worst things in life. I hate waiting behind the coupon lady at the grocery store who refuses to use her debit card and must write a check. I hate waiting in traffic. I hate waiting at the tag office. I hate waiting in lines for a public restroom. I HATE WAITING!

Well, I was given some disturbing news last week that is requiring me to wait. The problem with me having to wait is I sit up at night thinking about all the "what ifs" and then I dream all night about the possible outcomes of my "what ifs". Then during the day I procrastinate on projects and tasks because doing them may impact my "what ifs." Then I get anxious, I get tired from all my vivid dreams, and I can barely concentrate on anything else. I'll admit it, I probably hate waiting because I have a slight tendency towards being controlling... or as one mean lady told me once... "You are control freakish!". I really don't think that is a word, and I do not think I'm a freak about control, I just want to know what is going to happen!

I know I can't control this situation, and no amount of thinking, dreaming or anxiety is going to change the outcome. I just wish it was over. I know God has a plan for me, and whatever is the result of this change will be for the best. I just wish in the mean time I could have on "off" button for my thinking.